Damn, Deric Lostutter, it is cold outside.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
The cold late winter air creeping up my spine as I lay perfectly camouflaged in my blind, hunting turkey.
I didn’t see any turkey that day, I just enjoyed being in the woods.
I have always been the loner type.
Bonding with nature, taking in the smells, and sounds, hiking mountains and trekking through forests.
I walked the old abandoned railroad.
It stretched all the way to Ashland from Lexington behind my old farm house.
No tracks remained, but some remnants of the old days where carriages lined the cobblestone streets were still there.
I found a small box turtle, far away from any water, vulnerable to prey.
I holstered my sidearm, picked up the turtle, and carried it 4 acres uphill before releasing him in my pond to be with his cousins.
It was just starting to hit daybreak when I got out of the shower.
I sat down, flipped on the television, until my dog, an amazing white/black Pit-bull named Thor, started barking at the door.
“Fed-Ex is here with my shirt”, I thought.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Heavily militarized SWAT team agents surrounded me.
They brought my brother and the lady who would eventually become his wife out of the house as well.
State troopers were there, local police, and a CSI team.
All of these assault rifles aimed at my head for a computer they wanted?
That seemed extreme for a man who had an American flag flying over his house.
I never believed in anxiety before then.
I never believed in depression.
I never believed in any sort of hopelessness.
But, as an attorney told me that day, based on the search warrant, I could face as much as 25 years in prison for why they were there.
I felt all of those aforementioned mental afflictions for the first time.
I conquered the anxiety and depression with meditation, hiking, and immersing myself in the wilderness like I love to do.
Hours would turn into days, days into months, and months into years without any sort of sound out of Ohio.
Toying with me was more agonizing, always analyzing when the indictment would come, if ever.
Some months I believed it would never come.
After all, someone admitted responsibility publicly in the Herald Star months before the F.B.I. even showed up on my doorstep
July 7th 2016 I was with my wife, and my in-laws, when I heard the news that I had been indicted by the United States government in the district of Eastern Kentucky.
It has been two weeks now.
My arraignment in Lexington, Kentucky is fast approaching, and my future remains uncertain.
The world has sounded off with the support that echoed the months after I was raided by the F.B.I.
“Free Deric Lostutter” they screamed as they raised over 200,000 signatures to drop the case against me.
Those signatures were later delivered in person to the Federal Building in Columbus Ohio.
This indictment that hangs over my head makes me nervous every day about the uncertainty that I will be able to exercise my role as a father to the child I have prayed to have all of my life.
It leaves me awake at night wondering if these last few weeks will be the last time I get to lay next to my wonderful wife for 16 years.
Millions of views on a single video later, lets me know that I am not alone.
You calm any fear, or anxiety that I have.
You…you reading this. You have been there for me for 3 years. You continue to be there for me today.
Even if it is an ear to talk to, or a hand to shake with a confirmation of support, I appreciate that as much as every single dollar that has ever been donated my way for this “fight” to remain free. To remain a father. To remain a husband. To remain normal.
We often speak out about what we feel is wrong, only to find ourselves persecuted by our peers.
Now I am persecuted by the very country that my family has fought and died for since World War I.
I am a Constitutionalist.
I love my country.
Even though it says United States V. Deric Lostutter on my indictment, millions of United States Citizens have assured me that the United States is indeed not against Deric Lostutter.
I have wanted more than anything in this world to be a father.
I almost had the chance when my daughter was stillborn in Janurary of 2016, and I now have that chance again with our newest miracle expected to be born on Christmas Eve of 2016.
This blog post is not to antagonize the Government.
I realize that they have a job to do, and I respect that.
This blog post is to thank you, the average citizen.
The grocery store clerk, the call center representative, the hard laborer, and the business executive.
This post is to thank the single mothers and fathers, the previously imprisoned and the police officers, the politicians, the state department officials that I have spoken to, and the attorneys, who have voiced their concern for this indictment, and said “I stand with Deric Lostutter.”
My body may very well be shackled in due time, but my heart remains free with the solidarity that you have shown me and my family.
My wife, my mother, my father, my brothers, my unborn child, my friends, we all just want to say…
I will always stand with you, and if it is in your heart, please, stand with my family.
Donate to the Deric Lostutter Support Fund
You may donate to my lawyer here, which covers the defense expenses, which are seperate: