“Where there is love there is life.”
– Mahatma Gandhi
By: Deric Lostutter
I never thought that I would see the day. Really, I was an awkward teenager, and even more of a train wreck in my 20’s.
I was a womanizer.
I was always on the move, from party to party, searching for my next opportunity to fill the void in my life that I felt. I never knew what that void was. I knew I needed companionship, but I never knew how to stabilize my relationships that I was in.
I was dirt, lower than dirt. I was that guy that called the girl the wrong name.
Why am I telling you this? Because, I have made peace with my juvenile past, and elevated into adulthood.
People said we would be crazy for getting married so soon, but the moment I laid eyes on Jennifer, there was just this essence about her. The room stood still. I will never forget the day. The way she walked, her smile, her eyes. She took interest in me.
“When I saw you, I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.” – Arrigo Boito
She asked me how my day was and genuinely listened when I replied.
Who is this…what is this feeling?
The more we talked, the more I was intrigued. Sure, she was an exotic dancer. She was also a mother, drug free, and 3 years into her political science degree.
I also worked in the night club industry at the time, behind the bar, or in the D.J. booth.
What did I have to lose? I had everything to gain.
We hung out and by day two were inseparable. We completed each other’s sentences, and all the rest of that corny stuff.
“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow–this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”
– Elizabeth Gilbert
We danced like robots on road trips to the worst of music, and reminisced over the ’90’s, an era of much simpler times.
Goals…those are important.
I asked her what her goals were.
She just wanted to be the best mother she could be, and find stability while exploring the world around her.
My goals were similar…stability was something I had never experienced. A volatile childhood, and a self destructive half a decade of my early 20’s meant that I was my own walking psychology project.
I wanted more than anything to be a father, and didn’t know if I could even have children, as I hadn’t produced any yet.
2 months into our relationship, we decided our futures in one night, in front of a group of friends and co-workers.
“Why not? Fuck it, we love each other, we aren’t conventional, and what do we have to lose?”
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
– Lao Tzu
Jantz, a bouncer friend of mine, bought us a round of drinks, my other friend, Treasure, yes that is her real name, jumped up and down in excitement for us telling the entire bar. Cheers erupted from the people surrounding us.
We hit the courthouse the next morning, got the certificate. We debated between a judge and a magistrate, finally I decided on a preacher I knew, one that mysteriously visited me in the hospital without anyone even knowing I was there to pray over me as I battle my heart condition.
I remember standing in his office, we had strangers for witnesses.
This was either the craziest, or the most beautiful thing I could imagine, and I voted beautiful.
Here we are husband and wife.
Many doubted us, many told us we wouldn’t last.
Through the hardships we have experienced, the hectic move that ended up in a 2 month homeless stint, the loss of our daughter Jade, and our fair share of arguments, we are stronger than ever, and continue to grow in the most beautiful of symbiotic love that one could experience.
“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”
– Maya Angelou
Bob Ross, himself, couldn’t depict in a painting, how we feel about each other.
What is our secret?
“Who, being loved, is poor?”
– Oscar Wilde
He is currently engaged in multiple lawsuits against a growing list of people who have stalked and harassed him and his family for years, costing him employment, homes, and reputation.
If you would like to donate to help Deric’s cause, you may do so at https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=JWWQQSEJPN8H8
A portion of the proceeds raised and won will go to anti-bullying charities nationwide.
If you would like to book Deric to speak about his experiences, you may do so via the contact form at http://www.kyanonymous.com